I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
