Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I think people are normalizing furries
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
