i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
