i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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