Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
