your parents love me but you hate me
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
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