Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
