her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
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I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
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