Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize