i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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