and you said cock pushups were impossible
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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