it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
