What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
