well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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