Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
