Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
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