The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize