Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
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