I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
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The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
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I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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