Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
