I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
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At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize