do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.