I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
