I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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