Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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