guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
