I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
So vagazzling was a success
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
