he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
ugly people sure do ruin things
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize
