champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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