Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize