he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
how do flat chested girls get laid?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
