I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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