Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
