69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I can't turn off my feet"
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Randomize
