I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize