Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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