I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
