I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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