I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize