therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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