Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
