Got a toothbrush?
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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