me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
