Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
the day after is always just damage control
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
