I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
