i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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