im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize