You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
