I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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