but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
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Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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