VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
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