When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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