There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
